Sun Sets in my Heart

Living in rural place, close to nature, and quite in the East of Bali made me feeling awkward and excited in the same time when I visited my friend in Legian. We spent an evening hanging out in one of the famous and fancy beach clubs in Double Six area, Seminyak. At first, an usher woman stared at me in a strange way. I guessed it was because of the way I dressed in a long jeans and tank top, nothing smelt glamorous and sexy from me.

The woman asked me if I had made a reservation and I answered her by pointing my friend who is already well known in the beach club. She got what I meant that I came with my friend. She then nodded and let me come in. My friend said hi to almost everyone there. She’s been famous here and she looks fancy. Yeah, I was there just because of her.

A foreigner DJ played music that match with the sunset moment and the crowd of Seminyak at the time. Some of visitors were swimming in the pool, some were just sitting down enjoy the drinks and the music while talking to some friends. I observed around and find a fact: people who work here are more kind to foreign tourist and those who ‘looks’ rich. It’s very understandable and nothing’s wrong with that since it’s what they should do.

I refused the third cocktail offered to me. Honestly, I would be happier if there is somebody offered me a glass of orange juice or sweet chocolate ice or well, maybe a glass of Virgin Mojito. I am not a big fan of alcohol. Just because of one reason: it’s pricey.

“I would be the one who drives home, so I must not get drunk”. It’s just two glasses of Cocktail and I felt bit tipsy so fast. I said no when my friend offered me her cigarette. A waiter approached us and smiled while replacing the ashtray full of menthol cigarette on our table with the new one. My friend smiled to him back as the sign of “thanks”.

The sun has set. It’s time to leave, find something to eat for diner, shower, and then sleep. For sure, the morning would wake me up with massive stomachache of the alcohol, which processed in my tummy.

On the way home, I kept thinking of my place in the village; a place where I am welcomed as I am, a place of simplicity and honest life: Tulamben.

–Legian, which is always summer.

sunset time

Tempat Minum Dwi


Sebagai pegawai biasa dengan ijazah SMA, ayah saya hanya mampu mengirim saya ke sekolah yang sewajarnya; bukan sekolah yang mahal, bukan sekolah dengan ibu-ibu sosialita berbincang tentang arisan dan branded stuffs sambil menunggui anak mereka sekolah. Sebut saja TK Sinar Nyata. Sebuah TK yang dikelola oleh yayasan multi-agama yang cenderung menjadi sekolah para kaum menengah ke bawah pada masa itu.

Seingat saya, sebagian besar orang tua murid di sekolah saya bekerja sebagai pedagang kecil, ada juga yang buruh pabrik, namun ada juga yang juga pegawai. Whatever, murid-murid tetap bisa berbaur satu sama lain karena yang kita pikirkan hanyalah: main belajar.

Masuk awal catur-wulan kelas nol besar, kelas kami kedatangan seorang murid baru. Namanya Dwi, seorang gadis mungil kecil yang rambutnya suka dikucir kuda sangat rapi. Tidak ada rambut yang berantakan nongol kanan kiri atas bawah seperti rambut Kiki kecil. Dwi anaknya sangat pendiam dan lebih sering menghabiskan waktu bersama ibunya ketika jam istirahat. Kiki kecil sangat tidak bisa melihat orang yang diam tak bermain-main seperti itu, sehingga Kiki kecil selalu berusaha mendekatinya dan mengajak Dwi main bersama. Sungguh mulia.

Jika dewasa ini, Tupperware (atau teman-temannya lock and lock, etc) sedang menjadi favorit buat botol minum anak-anak, kalau masa Kiki kecil, botol minum yang kami bawa adalah botol minum yang unik dan lucu bentuknya. Ada yang bentuk robot, telepon, boneka, bus, keker, bermacam-macamlah pokoknya. Mungkin saat ini ada sejumlah anak yang pakai botol minum yang lucu-lucu juga, cuma saya udah jarang lihat.

Kiki kecil nggak suka air putih. Budhe: kakak dari ayah saya yang mengasuh saya sejak kecil, selalu membuatkan saya sirup orson atau teh, atau susu coklat, atau coklat manis sebagai bekal minum di botol minum saya yang lucu. Pun teman-teman saya waktu TK juga botol minumnya beraneka bentuk dan warna. Tapi berbeda dengan Dwi…..

Sewaktu jam istirahat, Dwi menghampiri ibunya untuk meminta minum. Ibunya membuka sebuah gelas belimbing berisi air putih yang ditutup oleh plastic bening dan diikat dengan karet gelang supaya airnya tidak tumpah. Sebuah gelas kaca dengan tutup dari kantong plastik. Dan Dwi tetap meminumnya dengan bahagia disaat Kiki kecil yang menyaksikannya merasa iba.

Lama waktu berselang, Dwi sudah tidak ditunggui ibunya lagi. Hanya kakak laki-lakinya yang menjemput dia sepulang sekolah. Bu Guru bilang kalau ibunya meninggal karena sakit maag. Lalu tak berapa lama pula, Dwi sudah tidak pernah sekolah lagi. Kiki kecil tidak tau dimana Dwi dan belum mengenal kata kepo atau stalking.

Ini seberkas dari sekian gelintir ingatan saya tentang masa TK saya. Dwi, saya harap saat ini kamu hidup bahagia seperti seraut wajah damaimu kala menikmati setiap teguk air putih di gelas bertutup kantong plastik itu, dengan ibumu.


Masih ingatkah kamu dengan masa-masamu di Taman Kanak-Kanak?

Solo, pagi hari.

The Little American: Daniel

Photo by me, captured with permission. Published on my instagram by his permission as well.
–The Little Danny– Photo by me, captured with permission. Published on my instagram by his permission as well.


Sometimes I still have no idea why do life’s chapters have correlation one each other.

One day in a beach in front of my friend’s hostel in Buitan area, East Bali, there was a woman sitting down in the beach playing with an instrument (I forgot the name, it’s like a huge drum from metal). Her white hair flew by the air. While she was playing her instrument, she smiled at me when I got up from the sea. I walked approach my sandal that I left nearby her.

I smiled back at her while excusing my self for taking my sandal. She told me, “You are very beautiful”. Her blue eyes were very sincere and loaded me with peace when I stared at her. I said, “thank you” and smiled at her back then left.

* * *

We had a party that night. My friend, Bart and I and others were queuing for our turn making our pizza. While we were having some laughs, there was a little boy staring at me while making his pizza. I smiled at him and asked, “What is your name?”

“Daniel”, he replied.

To my surprise he poured some flour on me. Luckily, it was not too much on my face, but on my back and on my dress. “How dare you!” I yelled in my heart. Calmly I told him, “Why are you so mean to me? I didn’t do anything bad to you” then ignored him for cleaning my self from some flour. I heard Bart whispered me, “do you want me to lock him somewhere?”. YES, please!

Somehow I caught that the little boy was still keeping his eyes on me. Apparently there was somebody cute who wanted to apologize.

* * *

I had just come back from bus station in my hometown for booking and paying my bus ticket to Bali. There was a call from my friend in Bali. “I need you tonight”. My friend said from the line.

“I will be arriving in Bali by tomorrow afternoon. I had booked my bus ticket for this afternoon leaving”. I said.

“Bla…bla…bla…bla…just take airplane that will leave this evening to Bali. I’ll change the money! It’s urgent. I’ll see you at the airport”. She ended the conversation.

* * *

I was standing in the domestic departure pick up line, waiting for my friend who is going to collect me. I saw a city car walked slowly in the pick-up zone that I predicted as my friend. The second time the car passed me, the window was opened and there was a little boy behind the window trying to find somebody and called out my name for several times.

“O my God! No way! No!” I said to my head. It was Daniel.

The car stopped and my friend came to help me collecting my stuffs to be put in the baggage. She introduced me to the –one I used to know- little boy. “Daniel, please give your greeting to the young lady who will be your Bahasa Indonesia teacher”. Said my friend.

I sat down in front seat next to the driver, with the little Danny. At first I had no idea what I should do to spend my 90 minutes journey to the East with the boy who was sitting down on my thighs. But the truth was, we enjoyed our time in the car. I lent him my sweater cause he was feeling cold by the air cond. He was laying his head on my chest and tried to sleep. In the end I pampered the kid that I would have him avoided before when I first time met him. Lucky him!

* * *

Time passes. The days change. The numbers of memories increase. I had many good times with Daniel even in the end we should kiss each other goodbye. I friend his mom and spent few times having –what so called- meditation together. And I un-intentionally adore his grand mom: the great woman with peacefully eyes I met in the beach.

Let life surprises you.


voor Bart: Dankjewel!

Pizza de La Casa

“Pizza is like sex, when it’s good, it’s really good. When it’s bad, it’s still good”. –idontknowwhostatedthis

nom nom nom
nom nom nom

Tania is one of my good friends in Bali. She is Dutch-German who married a Balinese man and have three adorable children. She runs an eco-homestay just in front of the beach in Buitan (Karangasem regency, 2 kilos before Candidasa), East Bali. I knew her from friends of mine; sweet Latin couple who volunteered in the foundation I worked. Tania usually organizes a pizza party at her place and invites people who stay at her place and people from International Humanity Foundation, a foundation which is located just 10 minutes walking from her place.

The price that we should contribute is 80K (around €6) for a pizza that you can make by yourself. You can make your own pizza size and you can shape it by yourself. You can also choose if your pizza will be a vegetarian pizza (tomatto sauce, mushroom, basil leaves, olives, pineaplle) or a very heavenly pizza with all of the veggies plus bacon (ups, sorry I love it!) and mozarella on it. Then, you can just pass it to Pak Made (one of workers in the homestay). He will bake your pizza in a giant wood-fired oven.

While waiting for your pizza, you can grab yourself some Bintang and have a nice conversation with people there. My Spanish friend, Rafa, usually brings Arak (Traditonal Balinese palm wine) when he comes to the pizza party. Like a bartender, he mixes the arak with sprite and he will ‘insist’ people to drink while he is walking around and bringing his mixture. Luckily, I always find a reason to drink one or two shoots only since I am just a social drinker and don’t really like alcohol.

Don’t forget to check your pizza. When your pizza is ready, you can take it next to the oven. Make sure that pizza you grab is yours, hehehe.

Anyone loves sex #ups pizza?

Girl works out! yeah!
Girl works out! yeah!
Choose your own toping.
Choose your own toping.
the giant oven!
the giant oven!
Eugenio helped u to bake.
Eugenio helped u to bake.
Singing with Shofy while waiting for our pizza
Singing with Shofy while waiting for our pizza
foodgasm! Bonapetit!

Cafe Coffee Selfie

mas Yogi's and mine after years no see!
mas Yogi’s and mine after years no see!

I am at one of the famous brand coffee shop in Indonesia (even in the world) while waiting for the rain stops. Sometimes I want to laugh when I remember people’s statement of my hobby going to this famous coffee shop. They say that I am wasteful, some also say that people who go to this coffee shop are the people who want to take photo with the cup and show their photo on social media (unless they really a coffee lover).

I have been so many times visiting this famous brand coffee shops, especially since I moved to Bali for work. Sometimes I spend a long time waiting for my airplane in the airport and just wait inside the coffee shop of the airport. I know and I agree that the price in this coffee shop is not cheap but somehow I think it’s normal price because, come on, it’s a coffee shop; comfy place and you can also use the WiFi and plug your charger in when you are using your gadget. It’s also nice place to sit down with friends to talk.

When you already worked hard, sometimes you should give a present for yourselves, from yourself. In addition, sometimes you also need a mood booster in doing something and this medium cup of drink is a present for my self after doing a hard work and also a mood booster for me to do another hard work. Like now, it’s kind a present for me after several minutes ago I worked with some numbers in Microsoft Excel of my undone (yet) bachelor thesis’ research.

Sometimes I also post the photo of my hanging out in the coffee shop. I rarely show my face holding the cup on my photos, I prefer to take an artistic photo of a moment; picture which is informative and memorable that can remind me of the moment when I had my cup of happiness.

If there are a lot of people post their selfie photo with the cup, so what? They have their own style, right? In the other hand, I hear some criticisms of people who like posting their selfie –with ‘the famous brand’– photos. The only respond I can give for those who dislike those post is; “maybe they are jealous cause unable to buy the brand coffee”.

Every time I come here I always order the same drink because I can’t find this sweet adorable drink elsewhere but here. I also compare the price in every branch I visit. Still, my lovely city’s branches offer the cheapest price. I don’t drink this coffee so often, once or two times in a month is enough as long as I have budget for it and I WANT it. I don’t even have its member card cause I don’t think I need it.

Of course I am not an ambassador of this brand, albeit sometimes I introduce my friend to taste it for the first time (hahaha, I like giving them an experience).

So…… are you still wonder why am I here? 🙂

A Happy, Happy Birthday !

This April I got a lot of presents since my Birthday on the second. Ne.. I didn’t get Iphone nor Car Driving License, I didn’t get boyfriend, or even some stuffs I wanted to have.

Everything just happened so normal in the day. In my family culture, there is no birthday present-giving and cake. The last time I had my birthday celebration was when I was 6. Then when I was teen, I started to have a simple celebration with some close friends. The ‘big birthdays’ in my life started when I was in University and joined the a student organisation which the members of the organisation will pour the birthday person with flour, eggs, and water as ‘a gift’ then they will ask you to treat them cause you have your birthday.

On my 23rd birthday, I went to work, took rest, went work again, then spent an evening with Danny who (always) called me immediately to hang out. He didn’t know that it was my birthday. There was no surprises like previous birthdays; when some friends tried to hold me then suddenly they poured some flours and eggs upon my head. There were also no birthday wishes from some people I expect I will see their SMS or wall on Facebook (maybe they were very busy). However, I am the only one who responsible with my own happiness.

So, what’s are the presents? 🙂

  1. I am thankful for family who support me and stand by me for 23 years old, grateful cause they are healthy, accomplish, happy, talented, and take care of me.
  2. I am grateful for friends who always give their contribution in creating my smile, push me when I am stuck, and lift me up when I am down; sometimes I think that they are all angels without wings.
  3. I am grateful of God’s favor; for giving me trust for some jobs I do, for encountered me with some great people I never imagined. For so many wonderful chances to talk, to see, to swim, to run, and to play guitar, to sing, and to be closer with HIM. I think those are all presents that I can’t buy with money. Some precious presents.

In the next day I hang out with some old friends. We were be friends since we were in Junior High School. I remember when we were teen, we used to give presents to each other, we were so close cause we could meet everyday and talked each other so often at school. But now everything has changed, we are busy with our own job and another priority (family or boyfriend). So I appreciate their effort of giving their 2 hours to have a cheap dinner. Then finally, I was really surprised when one of them brought me a birthday cake. I wanted to cry at the time but I was too rough. I was really surprised and I couldn’t say anything.

God is so good all the time.