Few months ago, I worked as a branch manager in an English institution. I had been in the position for almost two years. In the morning, I used to think what marketing strategies I would do that day, how many students the school needed more, how much money did we have, could pay the salary, could we afford savings for building rent, were my coworkers happy, etc.

If life is paradox, I used to feel stressed with the jobs, but also grateful in the other hand. In the very hectic moments, I once thought, “I need time to be at home and read my books”.

Now, months later, my body is telling me to rest. My body is showing that she needs attention too. I am having problem (still temporary diagnosis) with my kidney and / or backbone.

It’s been a month after my last job was over, some travelings, then I am home now; unemployed. I am literally on my bed; reading books, reading and writing blogs, while on medication process.

Can’t believe that universe really listened to my wish before.


Different Religion

Raise your hands if you broke up with you ex because you guys believe in different religions!

I often wonder the reason “we have different religion” is used for a couple to end their relationship.

Let’s say a Moslem man and Christian woman, Catholic woman with an agnostic guy. They both love each other. They have known each other for couple of years. They kissed and fucked passionately. Then in the end, they separated because their religions are different.


You guys had sex before married, doesn’t it against your religions’ norm? Then now, in the name of God  religion, you should break up? Sorry, it just doesn’t make sense for me.

“The reason is our parents. Our parents want us to marry one who has same religion” Said one of the couples.

Sorry, but I guess your love is not strong enough to convince your parents that he / she is THE ONE you want to spend your life with; with ups and downs, together. Or perhaps, sorry to say, that’s not love… It could be attraction, infatuation, or lust.

Thanks God, I believe in love. Love is my religion.

Monkey Forest


Rebel girl.

Thanks, Self!

I thank my self for being strong enough to forgive

I thank myself for being so loyal

I thank myself for not playing around over temptations out there

I thank myself for being present when he’s poor, he’s sick, he’s depressed

I thank myself for crying hard together

I thank my self for being so generous with time

I thank myself for having a lot of love and compassion

Dear, self…

Thank you so much for putting up with me…

Now let’s just have fun together only you and I…

Move On

Just go somewhere, if you meet love in the middle of the way; you’re lucky. If you should do it alone, you’re still lucky. –Kikay

Taken by Nam

Sometimes we feel too worry with our thoughts about “what if-s” and what’s going on in the future that make us hard to step forward from our state of minds. We’re stuck in a situation of longing for change but holding some things.

After resigning from my previous job, I was anxious if I could get the position like I had before. I also worried if I would lose my limited freedom as “a (commander) leader”. While the most important thing is, I worried about the cash flow in my bank account that will be no longer same.

In line with my career, my relationships with (now) my ex-boyfriend was full of thoughts. I used to be worry if I couldn’t be with him anymore. I was afraid if he left me. I was afraid if I would be alone without his affection and attention.

After passing several weeks of calming my self session, I figured out the meaning of MOVING ON.

It doesn’t have to be moving so far away for a better job or dating a new person immediately. I left my previous job by considerations and supported by a good momentum of new opportunity working for a freelance job I am doing at the moment.

In the other hand, my relationship’s changing had been patterned in its complication. My ex-boyfriend clarified and reminded me again that we were no longer dating.

Both of them were, of course, stressed me out and broke my heart. I love my job and co-workers, but I left it for some reasons. I love my ex boyfriend, he’d been doing very good to me, and we had a lot of memories. The fact that he doesn’t want to be with me anymore wouldn’t change who he was. However I respect his decision.

Leaving job and losing our love one at the same time is completely miserable if we see it in normal perspective. I thank God, universe, and people around me who give me strength.

“Everything’s gonna be alright” is absolutely true . I am still complete and independent. The fact that I am no longer a manager and a lucky girlfriend also wouldn’t change who I am.

I am ready for upcoming adventures, new connections, more friendships, and of course more colorful life’s paths.

True Love

I’d been several years in a love journey to come to a conclusion:

To love is not to get acknowledgement from someone we love

To love is not to demand an equal love would be given to us

To love is not to protest

To love is to accept when it’s not satisfied

To love is to let go

To love is also to stay in sincerity

To love is to forgive

To love is to respect

To love is to support

To love is to pray

Pray…..Pray….Pray….When arms can’t hug