Support System

Nothing can be proud of my achievement, I was just blessed to be who I am now. I am a head of a small English school in my hometown. Yet, it gives me ton of experiences and knowledges that I would never got in university or my previous workplace in a formal school. The most important thing is; I feel so much grateful with the team I have; teachers and admin staff.

Time runs so fast when I spend a day or an evening with them. They are cheerful, and always have positive energy. They are super women who work hard and I can feel their sincerity. They are the reason I should be progressive and move forward.

They are my support system, when boredom hit me.

Happy Birthday Kiki

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What Do You Want?

Been searching at every corner,

Been asking to a priest, a nun, a bikku, a Bible, a Quran, psychologist, wisdom,

Been falling on my knees. Countless,

Why does God remain silent?

Been tired of everything

I stopped and asked myself

“Dear self, please forgive me. What do you want?”

“Do you want be upset? Ok let’s go!”

“Do you want to hurt people? If that makes you happy, go ahead!”

“Do you want to travel more? Book a ticket, I would do too!”

Then self said in tears.

Ooo no words…

No sounds….

It’s just silence with tears speak louder.

❤️

In this world,

We will sometimes see a jerk, dating an angel

or

a whore, dating a really good man

Sometimes they are strangers around us, our relatives, or even our close friends.

We often expect them to leave their bad partner, or leave the toxic relationship.

Without we know if they; the one we think as a bad person, is the world, the light, and the power of the angelic one.

“You deserve better”, said us to “the weak”.

Nobody deserves better, but everyone deserves for love.

Those, who are the jerk, the whore, needs more love, meanwhile those, who are the angel, the victim of love has un-never ending love.

Who do “the victim” maintain to be loved? They have unlimited of it and always feel loved.

Dear God…

Please give us more and more love to be spread.

I was Met with An Angel

It was 1 o’clock lunch time but I still stayed doing some reports. I decided to left the office to drop some documents and grabbed lunch. My hands were trembling as I rode my motorbike. The empty train from Jogja stopped my journey for several minutes in the sun. “It was such a bad day”, I thought.

I continued my riding soon after the train cross gate opened. Only few seconds after that, the documents I put in the dashboard of the bike flew out. Some other bikers tried to notice me about my flying folder but I couldn’t ride back since the traffic was busy and it’s impossible to make a U-turn. I decided to go home for lunch first because I couldn’t help my trembling anymore.

At home, after some meals and few relax, I thought about printing new document. I thought that it was okay to lose it though there were some personal information but people might be won’t misuse it since it was just a translated file. I felt little bit calmer. Then I went back to office.

Arrived at the office, I told to my co-worker about what happened. She agreed to help me to take a look at the place I lost the folder. She was the one who rode the motorbike and I sat down behind.

We passed the “crime scene” already but yet I found nothing indicate my folder. She stopped the bike and told me that she saw a guy holding a green folder sitting under a tree nearby the train cross gate. We made a U-turn and approached the guy. There was it. He held the folder I lost and said, “mbak-nya yang kehilangan dokumen ini ya?” (are you the one who owns this document?).

I said yes and asked his name. He said that his name was Ahmad. I told him that I would like to give him something as my thank you which soon he rejected. I asked his phone number that maybe I can give credit to his phone, but he said that he got no phone. However, I insisted him to receive small money to buy him a cigarette. YA, it’s common term to give someone money by telling them “to buy cigarette” even in fact, they spend the money for other things.

It was 2.30 when I met him and around 1.15 when I lost my folder. So it took around 75 minutes for him waiting there for me picking up my folder.

I felt so grateful about it. It is not about me finding the document, but it’s because I witnessed that good people do exist. I was let to experience one’s kindness even he’s a stranger. I wish that he’s blessed. I wish he realise that his life is meaningful.

–Nearby Stasiun Purwosari, 2019.

WhatsApp Image 2019-03-29 at 3.35.21 PM

Photograph

Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes
But it’s the only thing that I know
When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes
It is the only thing makes us feel alive
We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts are never broken
And time’s forever frozen still
So you can keep me
Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans
Holding me closer ’til our eyes meet
You won’t ever be alone, wait for me to come home
Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul
And it’s the only thing that I know, know
I swear it will get easier
Remember that with every piece of you
–Ed Sheeran
Aku telat nggak kalau ngefans Ed-Sheeran baru sekarang?

Strong People

If you see me on the top of a mountain, it’s not me the one who’s strong, the one who’s awesome. It’s the people who hiked with me who are.

–Kiki

20150902_060617
Sikunir

Katanya,

kalau mau lihat karakter asli seseorang; ajak dia naik gunung.

Hehe saya bukan anak gunung. Saya suka lihat gunung, tapi kalau buat naik gunung saya akan pikir-pikir lagi ke depannya. Kenapa? Karena saya punya pengalaman yang emejing waktu naik gunung.

Ya meskipun saya bukan anak gunung seperti yang saya sebutkan diatas, paling enggak tiga kali mencoba mendaki. Pertama Gunung Lawu.

1. Gunung Lawu – Jateng/Jatim

Kata teman yang suka mendaki, Argo, saya termasuk salah pilih karena mendaki pertama langsung di Gunung Lawu apalagi lewat jalur Cemoro Kandang yang banyak anak tangganya bikin menggeh-menggeh. Ini katanya Argo lho ya. Waktu itu kamiberlima. Hanya tiga dari lima yang sampai puncak, yang dua (saya dan Tya) terkapar di tenda dengan penderitaan masing-masing. Kisah lengkapnya saya ceritakan kapan-kapan ya.

2. Sikunir – Wonosobo

Saya ke Sikunir sama adek saya dan teman-teman gengnya dari Fakultas Kedokteran. Nggak kapok dari pengalaman sebelumnya, saya cus aja karena merasa aman juga kalau saya hiking sama para (calon) dokter hehe. Ternyata nggak juga. Sikunir yang terletak di Wonosobo dan start dari desa tertinggi di Jawa, saya sudah keder dnegan dinginnya yang kata orang bisa mencapai titik beku 0 derajat. Sebenarnya puncaknya nggak tinggi-tinggi amat karena Sikunir cuma bukit. Tapi namanya nggak fit dan kedinginan, sesak nafas pun mendadak menyerang dan sempat menimbulkan drama. In the end of the session, saya berhasil menyelesaikan sampai puncak. Thanks to my sister and her friend; Andrio.

Jpeg
Golden Sunrise – sikunir

3. Mahawu – Sulawesi Utara

Waktu di Mahawu saya sama teman saya dari Belanda. Namanya Marianne. Kayaknya uda terkenal kalau fisiknya bule itu lebih kuat dari kita (dalam hal jalan kaki ya). Saya udah dari awal bilang sama dia kalau saya itu bukan anak gunung, manja, dan slow walker jadi daripada Marianne nanti nungguin saya dan saya jadi ngerepotin dia, mendingan dia sendiri aja. Singkat cerita, saya berhasil naik puncak Mahawu setelah sekali kesasar dan terkapar di tengah hutan siang hari sendirian (yang ternyata kami salah jalur). Mahawunya simpel banget, pendek banget sebenarnya. Nenek-nenek mah pasti juga bisa.

Dari uraian di atas, kelihatan ya karakter saya yang udah gampang nyerah, manja, lemesan, payah. Hehehe. Setuju?

Tapi daripada melihat sisi lemah saya, lebih baik kita menyoroti karakter teman-teman yang hiking sama saya.

I am grateful that I did it with those whose heart is very big. I am grateful that they waited for me and encouraged me when I almost gave up; those who supported me and stood by me till I reached the top.

Surakarta, 2019